Attempting to do something new -

A month ago, even longer actually, I was dealing with a lot of self-doubt, put-downs, and some other hyphenated issues, haha! I've been doing everything I can to heal and move forward with my life instead of backwards. I deleted half of the "friends" I had off of my Facebook, started to do some self-therapy to get over my paranoia, got the courage to call the doctor to figure out what was going on with me, and delved head-first into my schoolwork like my life depended on it.

Well, since the last time I posted, I have decided to delete my Facebook altogether, have healed the random infection that was making me feel like I was going crazy, changed my birth control twice only to go back to my original brand, and I have been accepted into Graduate school at the University of Northern Colorado for a Doctorate in Audiology. I have been offered a GA positionship with the University, and I will still be able to keep my current job. I have found temporary homes for the cats I was babysitting, and rearranged my living room so I don't have to look at furniture that was given to me by someone who is no longer speaking to me. I have made a new great friend, someone to confide in, and have become more active in my old pastime of LiveJournal.

On top of everything else, I am trying to teach myself to cook better; I've always loved cooking but I really doubt anyone else I know gets as much joy out of going grocery shopping as they do shopping for new shoes or clothes. I am going to do some experimentation in the next few weeks and will try to make a seafood fettuccine with shrimp, home-made chicken fingers, and other various dishes. Maybe I've been watching too much food network, but I would like to expand my recipe book, and create some dishes that can have my name attached to them *instead of just my family classic, Jane's casserole, of whom I've never met the namesake, but we all love it so much!*

I'm excited to do some new things, and I'm excited to move forward. I don't want to break down anymore for other people, and I don't want to feel guilty for doing things I never did. At 21 years old, I have realized recently that I will never FEEL like I'm an "adult," because other people will always have some excuse to view me differently. So I'm going to live my life as I want to live it - I don't have anything to lose but more time!

Love to all,
Amber